Power of Choice
Chances are someone or something has really annoyed you in the past right? In fact it is fair to say that every single day we are faced with a myriad of potential “things” that can set us off. In an instant we can be removed from a peaceful happy state to one of anger, frustration and great stress.
The external “things” are all around us in the environment that we live, play and work in and can trigger this negative response in a flash.
What is it and how do we stop this reaction from this external trigger?
To give you an example in my life, we recently had a group of visitors over to our house and some ended up staying over for a couple of nights. It was awesome and although I was busy I was really stoked to have company over.
However there is one person that never greets me. He will come and go and never say hi when he walks in, nor will he greet me in the morning when he walks down the stairs and I am sitting in the lounge. That really irks me.
My reaction goes something like this…
Who the heck is this guy? It is so f%^&#@ rude that you can stay in someones else’s house and not even greet them? Especially when it is the man of the house that pays all bills. Who does he think he is? Does he think I am unimportant to him or below him?
It’s not the first time this happened and the last time we had them over it really, really set me off! I actually resented him and wanted to confront him about it. I was so damn angry!
Now the interesting thing is that my wife didn’t even notice it at all. So we were both looking at the same event, yet one of us (me) was triggered by it in a negative way and another (my wife) wasn’t even fussed about it at all and didn’t even notice it.
The reason why these triggers set-us off is going to be covered in another Blog post, but essentially has something to do with our belief systems.
The thing is, that we have a
Chances are someone or something has really annoyed you in the past right? In fact it is fair to say that every single day we are faced with a myriad of potential “things” that can set us off. In an instant we can be removed from a peaceful happy state to one of anger, frustration and great stress.
The external “things” are all around us in the environment that we live, play and work in and can trigger this negative response in a flash.
What is it and how do we stop this reaction from this external trigger?
To give you an example in my life, we recently had a group of visitors over to our house and some ended up staying over for a couple of nights. It was awesome and although I was busy I was really stoked to have company over.
However there is one person that never greets me. He will come and go and never say hi when he walks in, nor will he greet me in the morning when he walks down the stairs and I am sitting in the lounge. That really irks me.
My reaction goes something like this…
Who the heck is this guy? It is so f%^&#@ rude that you can stay in someones else’s house and not even greet them? Especially when it is the man of the house that pays all bills. Who does he think he is? Does he think I am unimportant to him or below him?
It’s not the first time this happened and the last time we had them over it really, really set me off! I actually resented him and wanted to confront him about it. I was so damn angry!
Now the interesting thing is that my wife didn’t even notice it at all. So we were both looking at the same event, yet one of us (me) was triggered by it in a negative way and another (my wife) wasn’t even fussed about it at all and didn’t even notice it.
The reason why these triggers set-us off is going to be covered in another Blog post, but essentially has something to do with our belief systems.
The thing is, that we have a CHOICE. When there is an event that triggers a negative reaction we have a choice. Even though that reaction is a default reaction and comes up before we can do something to stop it, we do have a choice. We can choose to run with the thoughts or stop them right there. Let’s look at the choices we make and the outcomes…
Negative Choice – OK so you have the reaction and you run with the thoughts… Who the heck is this guy? It is so f%^&#@ rude that you can stay in someones else’s house and not even greet them? Especially when it is the man of the house that pays all bills. Who does he think he is? Does he think I am unimportant to him or below him?…The result is your emotional state has changed to a negative one.
You can follow through on those negative emotions, which make you feel terrible and can infect ruin your entire day. Those thoughts could also cause you to get in an argument with your spouse when she tells you, you’re being silly and it is nothing.
You could even decide to confront the person and get into an exchange of words with him. Obviously that would affect your relationship with them and their spouse and make everything a little uncomfortable going forward. So every time you see each other in the future there is more discomfort for you 2 and your spouses.
What’s more is they could see it differently and then tell their other friends about your anger and how you confronted him and how it was out of line, which means those friends would also feel a little weird around you in the future and on and on it goes…
So you can see how just one thought can cause a hugely negative chain reaction of events.
Now let’s look at a different choice…
Positive Choice – The other option would be to say, OK…that isn’t cool! But what is it, within me that os getting annoyed by his behavior? Really it is just my belief system against his. I have a belief system of how people should behave in other peoples houses. When an event doesn’t match my belief system, it triggers a negative reaction that is destructive to many parties. So I can just look as the issue as one that is within me and some limiting belief that I need to dissolve. I could just walk into the kitchen and greet the person and ask them how they slept, what the plan for the day was etc…without even thinking about their behavior.
I could just let it go and focus on the positive. The result? No negative emotions, no confrontation, no conflict, no long term negative implications, nothing but love and peace.
Beautifully simple right?
So let’s make use of the Power of Choice in our life every single day. It will change our lives for the better!
Kenneth
. When there is an event that triggers a negative reaction we have a choice. Even though that reaction is a default reaction and comes up before we can do something to stop it, we do have a choice. We can choose to run with the thoughts or stop them right there. Let’s look at the choices we make and the outcomes…
Negative Choice – OK so you have the reaction and you run with the thoughts… Who the heck is this guy? It is so f%^&#@ rude that you can stay in someones else’s house and not even greet them? Especially when it is the man of the house that pays all bills. Who does he think he is? Does he think I am unimportant to him or below him?…The result is your emotional state has changed to a negative one.
You can follow through on those negative emotions, which make you feel terrible and can infect ruin your entire day. Those thoughts could also cause you to get in an argument with your spouse when she tells you, you’re being silly and it is nothing.
You could even decide to confront the person and get into an exchange of words with him. Obviously that would affect your relationship with them and their spouse and make everything a little uncomfortable going forward. So every time you see each other in the future there is more discomfort for you 2 and your spouses.
What’s more is they could see it differently and then tell their other friends about your anger and how you confronted him and how it was out of line, which means those friends would also feel a little weird around you in the future and on and on it goes…
So you can see how just one thought can cause a hugely negative chain reaction of events.
Now let’s look at a different choice…
Positive Choice – The other option would be to say, OK…that isn’t cool! But what is it, within me that os getting annoyed by his behavior? Really it is just my belief system against his. I have a belief system of how people should behave in other peoples houses. When an event doesn’t match my belief system, it triggers a negative reaction that is destructive to many parties. So I can just look as the issue as one that is within me and some limiting belief that I need to dissolve. I could just walk into the kitchen and greet the person and ask them how they slept, what the plan for the day was etc…without even thinking about their behavior.
I could just let it go and focus on the positive. The result? No negative emotions, no confrontation, no conflict, no long term negative implications, nothing but love and peace.
Beautifully simple right?
So let’s make use of the Power of Choice in our life every single day. It will change our lives for the better!
Kenneth