7 Ways Fear Holding You back
Fear has such a profound impact on our daily lives and in most cases we are not even aware of it. It sneaks up on us without our knowing, because it’s buried deep in our sub-conscious mind. The sub-conscious mind being our habitual mind that works on auto pilot without use even being consciously aware of what is going on.
Our conscious mind is so busy thinking about doing a task, day dreaming or not being present that when our sub-conscious mind brings out an habitual pattern of feeling we rationalize that feeling with our conscious minds and pull back.
Sound confusing? Don’t worry it can be in the beginning. Just think of your sub-conscious mind as that part of your mind that works without you having to think. For example walking, driving a car, brushing teeth, showering etc. But when you first learnt these tasks you had to think about it before it became second nature. That thinking was done by your conscious mind, until the habit had formed in the sub-conscious mind.
The same applies to your belief patterns and thinking patterns – both limited and empowering ones.
Let’s take a look at how Fear Manifests itself in our daily lives and stops us living to our full potential.
- Procrastination – Why do we procrastinate? Why do we not do the things that will serve us well? It is because the pain of doing it overrides the pleasure we may derive from the task. Procrastination is a sub-conscious habit that is like a dark force, that stops us from stepping out of our comfort zone and into a place of action. Sub-consciously we are afraid to fail, we are afraid that it is too much work and will cause us too much discomfort. Us humans like to avoid discomfort.
- Staying in a Job You Hate – When we stay in a job we hate we are basically living out of fear. We don’t believe in ourselves, we don’t believe we have the skill set to work in another job. We fear the unknown and will rather stay in a place of familiarity than step into the unknown. I realize we all need income to pay the bills, but why do we do this over and over for years and decades?
- Being in an Abusive Relationship – This is not a pleasant experience for anyone in a relationship like this or for their loved ones, but it becomes a vicious trap where they cannot get out. Through fear, physical, mental and emotional, ones self esteem and self confidence is eroded until they feel they are not god enough and it is their fault. They become paralyzed with fear and won’t move. It becomes a powerful sub-conscious pattern that keeps them stuck.
- Not Following Your Purpose – Many of us have big huge dreams and then don’t go ahead and pursue them. We lie awake at night dreaming of our own business, our new life and are so excited. Then our habitual thought patterns kick in and start talking us out of it. Every hurdle that comes along, is there to reinforce those negative, limited fearful thoughts, such as what if this fails, what will my parents and friends think of me, what about my family, what will I do then, I don’t have the knowledge or experience. The result? You shrink back into comfort and give up on your dreams.
- Self Doubt – How often do you doubt yourself? How many times do you get inspired and dream or think about doing something and then pull yourself back? I am pretty sure it happens frequently. You have a good idea, you want to speak up, act on it or start to take action, then someone passes a comment, you shy away or just brush it off as crazy talk. Why? FEAR! Sub-conscious negative thinking habits that tell every single one of us, every single day…You can’t do that, What makes you think you’re so special, this is too hard, you’re too old, you don’t have the education, you don’t the money etc etc etc…
- Panic and Stress – Do you find yourself rushing to finish a task or to get something or get frustrated because you have to have a particular item of clothing or piece of furniture or latest piece of technology? That is fear manifesting itself. It is the fear of missing out (FOMO) or some negative fearful thought that never tends to come true in any case. F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real.
- Judging / Criticizing / Blaming Others – How many times are you judging, blaming or criticizing others? Quite often it is certain traits that we have that is reflected in others, that ends up annoying us. We often blame and criticize others, just to make ourselves feel better. That is just fear and steals you from the present moment. Blaming, judging and criticizing others won’t change them, you’ll spend your entire life waiting for them to change. Focus on yourself and how you can change for the better.
So these are just 7 of many different ways that fear shows up in our lives.
The first step in making change is being aware. Notice any of these patterns that happen in your life. It is not to say you are bad or wrong, but just notice that you, like everyone else alive, has habitual thought patterns that are not serving you well. By being aware of these patterns, you can then start to make positive change in your life.
Do it and keep at it until you create new positive and empowering habits.